| Pages in topic: < [1 2] | The stupid things we do Thread poster: Jack Doughty
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Yamato (X)
Bulgaria
Local time: 05:33
Russian to Spanish
+ ...
| Shoes, chewing gum. | Sep 25, 2003 |
I remember the day when I was at home, and took a pair of shoes (I can only guess that my intention was to put them back to their place). I was daydreaming heavily... imagine what I felt when I daywoke holding the open door of the fridge!
I was even younger when I... well, there is a ·"estanco" (a tobacco shop) near my home. When I was perhaps 7 or 8 years old I was accompanying my mother to buy something. She stopped there for a moment, and I looked somewhere else.
Wh... See more I remember the day when I was at home, and took a pair of shoes (I can only guess that my intention was to put them back to their place). I was daydreaming heavily... imagine what I felt when I daywoke holding the open door of the fridge!
I was even younger when I... well, there is a ·"estanco" (a tobacco shop) near my home. When I was perhaps 7 or 8 years old I was accompanying my mother to buy something. She stopped there for a moment, and I looked somewhere else.
When I turned to the counter I saw my mother buying chewing gum... I couldn't believe it, so began to ask "mom, why did you buy chewing gum? why chewing gum? why...? ". I was pretty insistent... until the moment that I realzed that, somehow, I had mistook a young blonde (and rather pretty) girl for my mother, who stared at me from the other side of the counter.
Now... how could I mistake my mother????
Needless to say, the girl literally fled the place. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Monika Coulson 
Local time: 20:33
Member (2001)
English to Albanian
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SITE LOCALIZER | Another car story... | Sep 25, 2003 |
This happened to me and my friend in November of 1995 in Georgia. We had just finished shopping and had lots of bags in hands. One of the young men who worked in this store offered to help us by holding some of the bags on the way to the car. We headed to the parking lot and began talking to this young man. Couldn't remember exactly where we had parked our car, but soon we saw our green Neon. We went there, opened the trunk and realized that it was totally empty!!! Before we went shopping, we ha... See more
| | | | LJC (X)
France
Local time: 04:33
French to English
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| I once went to work in my slippers | Sep 25, 2003 |
and it was only when I got there that I realised.
| | | | | Something similar happened to my husband | Sep 25, 2003 |
Lesley Clayton wrote:
I once went to work in my slippers
but he had two different shoes when he went to the office of a notary 
[He has just told me that it happened again not long ago, he went to school with two different shoes. What alarms me is that he's getting used to, he doesn't even comment on it 
[Edited at 2003-09-25 23:08]
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Jack Doughty
United Kingdom
Local time: 03:33
Russian to English
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TOPIC STARTER In memoriam | One Sock Blue and One Sock Green | Sep 25, 2003 |
Once, when going to the theatre with my girl-friend (now my wife), I realised halfway through the play that I was wearing one blue sock and one green one. I wrote a somewhat exaggerated account of this in the form of a poem:
ONE SOCK BLUE AND ONE SOCK GREEN
(To the tune of “The Wearing of the Green”. For tune and original l... See more Once, when going to the theatre with my girl-friend (now my wife), I realised halfway through the play that I was wearing one blue sock and one green one. I wrote a somewhat exaggerated account of this in the form of a poem:
ONE SOCK BLUE AND ONE SOCK GREEN
(To the tune of “The Wearing of the Green”. For tune and original lyric, see http://www.kididdles.com/mouseum/w065.html )
Oh, a young chap named Jack Doughty
To see his girl was keen,
And absent-mindedly put on
One blue sock and one green.
(Chorus)
One sock blue and one sock green!
One sock blue and one sock green!
You never saw the like before,
One blue sock and one green!
He took her to the theatre,
And gave the girl a fright,
For as he sat and crossed his legs,
Why, there they were in sight!
(Chorus)
She did not like to tell him,
The timid young colleen,
That she’d noticed he was wearing
One sock blue and once sock green.
(Chorus)
Then another lady noticed
His most unusual choice,
And called out to her husband
In a penetrating voice:
(Chorus)
Then other people started
To turn around to see
The cause of this commotion
And then shouted out with glee:
(Chorus)
The actors up upon the stage
Were quite astonished too
To see a young man wearing
One sock green and one sock blue.
(Chorus)
Poor Jack felt quite self-conscious,
And knew not what to do.
He hadn’t known that he’d put on
One green sock and one blue.
(Chorus)
He hurried out before the end,
Because he felt ashamed,
And on his absentmindedness
The whole affair was blamed.
(Chorus)
So if you’re dressing hurriedly,
Be very sure that you
Do not put on in error
One sock green and one sock blue.
Jack Doughty, 14th July 1957
[Edited at 2003-09-26 11:59] ▲ Collapse
| | | | two2tango
Argentina
Local time: 23:33
Member
English to Spanish
+ ...
| We are human after all! | Sep 25, 2003 |
If you need a translator
guaranteed error-free
then you can rest assured,
this is the place to be!
We may walk out in slippers
or with socks randomized,
or with a bag of garbage…
but we are serious and wise!
We’ll spill oil by the gallons
standing below the tank,
and will ask for directions
only from a blind man.
We use to wash our laundry
with the food of our pet,
or pick a younger moth... See more If you need a translator
guaranteed error-free
then you can rest assured,
this is the place to be!
We may walk out in slippers
or with socks randomized,
or with a bag of garbage…
but we are serious and wise!
We’ll spill oil by the gallons
standing below the tank,
and will ask for directions
only from a blind man.
We use to wash our laundry
with the food of our pet,
or pick a younger mother,
or play “park and forget”
brew coffee without water?
send garbage ‘cross the sea?
We are very creative
people, as you can see!
So if you look for someone
guaranteed error-free
then you can rest assured,
this is the place to be!
Enrique ▲ Collapse
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Congrats Jack and Henrique, great poems!
ps one more thing: the day I got my degree I forgot my copy of the dissertation I was to discuss. For some reason, my friends were not really surprised by this... )
[Edited at 2003-09-25 22:08]
| | | | Monika Coulson
Local time: 20:33
Member (2001)
English to Albanian
+ ...
SITE LOCALIZER | Confirm your flight one day prior, hmmmm, maybe two days prior | Sep 25, 2003 |
We went on a vacation a while ago. We had so much fun throughout that time. I was the one who purchased the airplane tickets online (E-tickets.) I only told my husband the departure and arrival dates. He trusted me and everything went fine until the last day of our vacation...
We went to the airport and tried to check-in through the computer. The computer did not recognize our names. We asked for help. Can you imagine how stupid I felt when the airline employee told us that our tic... See more
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| You are great poets, Jack and Enrique! | Sep 26, 2003 |
But I think it's true, you know, our job demands so much concentration, we can be forgiven if we are a bit spacey outside it. After all...
...one day, after a day shopping Albert Einstein realized he had lost his umbrella. He returned then to the last stores he had visited. He didn't get lucky in the first three, but he struck gold in the fourth. To the shop attendant who handed him his umbrella he said: "You are very kind, just imagine, in the other stores I visited, they did not w... See more But I think it's true, you know, our job demands so much concentration, we can be forgiven if we are a bit spacey outside it. After all...
...one day, after a day shopping Albert Einstein realized he had lost his umbrella. He returned then to the last stores he had visited. He didn't get lucky in the first three, but he struck gold in the fourth. To the shop attendant who handed him his umbrella he said: "You are very kind, just imagine, in the other stores I visited, they did not want to give it to me."
And he was the greatest scientist in history! 
(See, Claudia, it worked! Thanks!)
[Edited at 2003-09-26 02:04] ▲ Collapse
| | | | Thierry LOTTE
Local time: 04:33
Member (2001)
English to French
+ ...
| Stupid Things We Do... | Oct 8, 2003 |
Many years ago in Paris, when I was 18 years old (screams…), on a Saturday afternoon and after a good lunch with friends and many “apéritifs” and “good wines” and “Cognac” I decided (all by myself) to go immediately to London to hear some good Jazz Live music in some kind of Club.
I had just won some good cash money betting on a horse in Vincennes tracks (just like in the “Andy Cap” comic strips) and I could afford it.
Anyway at that time, when I was a litt... See more Many years ago in Paris, when I was 18 years old (screams…), on a Saturday afternoon and after a good lunch with friends and many “apéritifs” and “good wines” and “Cognac” I decided (all by myself) to go immediately to London to hear some good Jazz Live music in some kind of Club.
I had just won some good cash money betting on a horse in Vincennes tracks (just like in the “Andy Cap” comic strips) and I could afford it.
Anyway at that time, when I was a little bit tipsy, money matters were not so important for me, and I scrambled into a cab, bound to Orly Airport…
Inside the British Airways’ plane they did offered me some more drinks which not contributed to clear my mind. I was bound for a “London or death Jazz Club” but without having any idea of “which one”. After consulting with the Air Hostess I heard that, in the crew cabin they were consulting with London Airport Facilities (I do swear that this detail is authentic…) and when she came back she suggested me to go at “Ronnie’s Scott” in Frieith Street (Soho) to attend the Clark Terry’s Quartet performance. No need to say that (I am a trumpeter myself) it has been one of the most marvelous experiences of my Jazz Lover’s life…
Upon my landing in London, I had to face with the “Immigration Officer” there. This was not yet “Europe” and the “Frenchies” had to justify their trips to UK by presenting a valid passport:
- What is the purpose of your stay in London please?
- Well, this is just an overnight trip to listen some good jazz live music in a club.
- All right! And now, would you be kind enough to tell me the real purpose of your trip in our country? (At that time, I was 18 years old, and had a “baby face” look. Just like nowadays…).
- Just listening to the music, Sir.
- How many money do you have?
- Fifty British Pounds. Would it be sufficient for the Queen?
This late answer was a true “mistake” (when considering the officer’s face and, after while his reaction) but I have been lucky because the Immigration Officer answered:
- Well! You are lucky that I am tired! Go on!…
At the exit of the airport, I hailed a Cab! Another mistake: it was a Police Car… They kindly explained me the difference between a police wagon and a British cab… (In France, they would have put me directly inside the Black Maria…).
When arriving to the Ronnie Scott Club I had another cultural problem: I ordered a Single Malt Scotch and they brought me, at once, some “cheese and crackers”… Facing my “alcoholic angriness” they explained me that the British rules compelled to serve some food with alcoholic drinks, after 10 P.M.
So, I did enjoy the show for which I came for…
Anything else???
[Edited at 2003-10-08 01:19] ▲ Collapse
| | | | sylver
Local time: 10:33
English to French
Thierry LOTTE wrote:
Many years ago in Paris, when I was 18 years old (screams…), on a Saturday afternoon and after a good lunch with friends and many “apéritifs” and “good wines” and “Cognac” I decided (all by myself) to go immediately to London to hear some good Jazz Live music in some kind of Club.
I had just won some good cash money betting on a horse in Vincennes tracks (just like in the “Andy Cap” comic strips) and I could afford it.
Anyway at that time, when I was a little bit tipsy, money matters were not so important for me, and I scrambled into a cab, bound to Orly Airport…
Inside the British Airways’ plane they did offered me some more drinks which not contributed to clear my mind. I was bound for a “London or death Jazz Club” but without having any idea of “which one”. After consulting with the Air Hostess I heard that, in the crew cabin they were consulting with London Airport Facilities (I do swear that this detail is authentic…) and when she came back she suggested me to go at “Ronnie’s Scott” in Frieith Street (Soho) to attend the Clark Terry’s Quartet performance. No need to say that (I am a trumpeter myself) it has been one of the most marvelous experiences of my Jazz Lover’s life…
Upon my landing in London, I had to face with the “Immigration Officer” there. This was not yet “Europe” and the “Frenchies” had to justify their trips to UK by presenting a valid passport:
- What is the purpose of your stay in London please?
- Well, this is just an overnight trip to listen some good jazz live music in a club.
- All right! And now, would you be kind enough to tell me the real purpose of your trip in our country? (At that time, I was 18 years old, and had a “baby face” look. Just like nowadays…).
- Just listening to the music, Sir.
- How many money do you have?
- Fifty British Pounds. Would it be sufficient for the Queen?
This late answer was a true “mistake” (when considering the officer’s face and, after while his reaction) but I have been lucky because the Immigration Officer answered:
- Well! You are lucky that I am tired! Go on!…
At the exit of the airport, I hailed a Cab! Another mistake: it was a Police Car… They kindly explained me the difference between a police wagon and a British cab… (In France, they would have put me directly inside the Black Maria…).
When arriving to the Ronnie Scott Club I had another cultural problem: I ordered a Single Malt Scotch and they brought me, at once, some “cheese and crackers”… Facing my “alcoholic angriness” they explained me that the British rules compelled to serve some food with alcoholic drinks, after 10 P.M.
So, I did enjoy the show for which I came for…
Anything else???
Loved that story. Really great!
| | | | Borana Moisiu
Albania
Local time: 04:33
English to Albanian
+ ...
| Sisters? Not really... | Oct 31, 2003 |
Ooops, once I told a lady that her daughter was very beautiful. She laughed and said: This is my sister.
I felt very embarrased all that day.
Borana
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NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 22:33
Member (2002)
French to English
+ ...
MODERATOR | Jack and Enrique - thanks again | Oct 31, 2003 |
Another forum topic asks us how we like best to begin our day. Reading your delightful poetry is my choice.
N.
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We were laughing that much 
that the guy who was helping us left (without even being tipped) and we did not even realize that. 
We found our car on the opposite side of the parking lot. 
We had missed our flight by one full day!!!
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